The decision of whether to send your child abroad for high school is not a simple yes or no; it depends entirely on your time capital, ability to mentor, and your long-term university strategy.
When to send them away (the trade-off)
If you are immensely busy, have disposable income, and genuinely lack the time or inclination to actively mentor your children, sending them abroad early is advisable. In fact, if you are a “nouveau riche” parent (trọc phú) who is too focused on accumulating wealth to guide your children, keeping them home might allow them to absorb destructive habits and the “tycoon” arrogance of your immediate environment.
The cost of this choice is the exchange of value systems. Your child will inevitably adopt different views and lifestyles. However, this difference should not be viewed as a “loss.” I believe that in navigating the complexities of modern Vietnamese society, the systematic values offered by a Western education often prove superior to what children receive in the local environment.
Boarding School Advantage: High-quality boarding schools in the U.K., U.S., or Canada are excellent options. They enforce military-like discipline (lights out at 9 PM, limited screen time) and provide a rigorous, well-rounded curriculum that surpasses most average Vietnamese schools.
When to keep them home (the mentorship advantage)
The benefits of keeping a child home during high school (ages 15–18) are substantial, provided you are willing to invest your time:
- The parent as the ultimate teacher: No teacher is more effective than a devoted parent. If you have valuable life lessons to share and the time to do so, keep your child close. They learn through observing your actions, decision-making, and interactions in the real world—accompanying you to business meetings, observing political discourse, and experiencing social life. This exposure is far more valuable than any boarding school experience.
- Optimal training for holistic success: If your strategy requires the child to gain high-level extracurriculars, specialized sports training, or intensive test preparation, Vietnam offers a financial and logistical advantage.
- Cost-effective: The cost of specialized sports training, music, or high-level tutoring abroad (especially in the U.S.) is exorbitant and inconvenient for boarding school logistics.
- Strategic preparation: Grades 10–12 are critical for university applications. Students need parental support to manage their heavy load: academics, sports, extracurriculars, and standardized tests (SAT, TOEFL). Students who stay in Vietnam (e.g., attending a less demanding private school and utilizing intensive prep programs like IvyPrep) often have more structured time to compile perfect application portfolios and outperform their peers who left early, securing spots and scholarships at top-tier U.S. universities.
My personal decision
I would not send my children abroad before the age of 15 or 16. I believe I have valuable capital to share: teaching them critical thinking, writing, organizational skills, and introducing them to the insightful people and mentors I know. I want them to experience a rich, varied life, rather than confining them prematurely to the predictable structure of a boarding school.
