On November 3rd, I read the devastating news of a ninth-grade student who jumped from the third floor after being continuously subjected to abusive behavior by a group of peers during class. Thankfully, the student survived, though with severe injuries. For those of us in education, this tragedy only deepens the profound sadness surrounding school violence—an obsession that has haunted generations of students, myself included.
I. The personal trauma and the institutional dream
The first day of the 2022–2023 academic year was memorable for me. Alpha School (part of the EQuest Education system) chose to open its year with a public pledge against bullying from every student and teacher, adopting the slogan: “Be a Buddy, Not a Bull”.
There were no platitudes or flowery promises. Students, parents, and the school collectively signed a commitment to specific actions: Do not use hurtful nicknames; do not spread rumors; do not touch others without consent. This commitment received 100% consent from everyone involved.
For me, this event was deeply moving because it represented the fulfillment of my own childhood dream. I grew up small and physically weak. Being bullied was my greatest fear and obsession throughout school. I couldn’t always tell my parents, because informing them often resulted in retaliatory beatings. I learned countless ways to “survive” and “avoid” being bullied, but still endured several violent encounters that left me injured.
When I was accepted into Hanoi–Amsterdam High School, my greatest joy was not the prestige of the school, but the simple fact that I would no longer be bullied. Only then did I feel safe and happy going to school every day.
Later, as a co-founder in education, I defined my institutional vision: The schools we create must not only offer world-class standards at a fair price but, fundamentally, must be a place where children feel physically and mentally safe, confident, and happy. As the philosopher Hồ Ngọc Đại believed: “Going to school should be happiness; every day at school should be joyous.”
II. The invisible violence: Redefining the harm
School bullying is a problem even in the most advanced nations (UNICEF data shows one in three students globally are affected). But I believe we can significantly reduce this shadow if teachers, parents, and students understand and cooperate fully.
Many fail to fully grasp the scope of bullying:
- When a student is shamed for their appearance or given a hurtful nickname—that is bullying.
- When a teacher punishes a student for failing to do homework by forcing them to repeatedly copy the phrase, “I am a lazy person”—that is bullying.
- Emotional manipulation used by adults (teachers or managers) to control subordinates is also a form of invisible violence. (Our corporation has had to part ways with managers who used emotional manipulation as a leadership tool).
Bullying can cause physical injury, but it also includes actions that inflict deep mental and emotional harm. Often, the perpetrators themselves are unaware of the full damage they are causing.
III. The restorative model: Finding the root cause
At Alpha School, our campaign against violence is built on a philosophy that does not condemn the student, but addresses the behavior. We do not view students who bully as “special cases” requiring harsh punishment; we support both the victim and the perpetrator.
The essential first step is months of preparation by our School Psychology Department, running training sessions for all stakeholders to equip them with knowledge on: (1) what constitutes bullying, (2) signs of victimization or perpetration, and (3) necessary self-protection measures.
Our crucial process is restorative, not punitive. When bullying occurs:
- We seek the root cause, analyzing the bully’s difficulties at home or in school that might be driving their behavior as a form of relief.
- We conduct mediation between the bully and the bullied to protect the school community’s friendship.
The heaviest “punishments” are always educational and community-restoring: the student might be required to continuously organize library shelves for several weeks, assist teachers as a teaching assistant, or help redecorate a worn-down wall.
The entire school—teachers, students, and parents—signs the Anti-Bullying Pledge, reminding every member they are an active ambassador. This dedication ensures that no one becomes an “unconscious bully” or a “passive victim” who fails to recognize the harm being done.
