My answer is simple: it depends on your time budget, parenting capacity, and the university selection strategy of your child (and you as parents).
If you are too busy and truly have no time or feel you have nothing to teach your child, while having plenty of money or being able to afford it, then you should send your child abroad early.
I have met so many newly rich tycoons for whom money is too simple a matter. They are absorbed in making money and completely forget their children, having almost no time left for them. For such people, I sincerely advise them to send their children away early. Staying here, the children won’t necessarily learn good things and instead will be filled with bad ones. They might even become spoiled because nobody manages them, or worse, absorb our own parvenu/nouveau-riche attitude (and ruin the children altogether).
What we will definitely have to trade off is our outlook on life and value system. The children will certainly have a different value system and lifestyle from their parents at home. Many people say: “Going away so early means losing your child!” I never think that way. A child thinking and acting differently from us does not mean we lose them.
No one should impose their views and value system on others, including parents. At the same time, in such tumultuous times in Vietnam, I believe that Western value systems might even be superior to what our children are receiving in the Vietnamese environment. High schools in countries like the UK, Australia, Canada, and the US, especially boarding schools, are quite good. The quality of education is certainly better than (most) (ordinary) schools in Vietnam, and even international schools.
Especially with boarding schools, the quality is beyond reproach. They discipline students like the military. There is no nonsense or troublemaking. Lights out for sleep at 9 PM. No internet or phone abuse. Eating and sleeping in moderation, properly organized. The academic curriculum is quite good. It is easier than studying in Vietnam, but the methods and approaches to problem-solving are far superior. At the same time, the kids have much more time to play sports compared to when they are at home.
Therefore, going abroad to study (at a boarding school) early is not bad at all.
So in which cases should you keep your child at home?
First, if you have many things to share and teach your child, consider it an important task, and have the time to do so, then you should keep your child. No teacher is more effective and better than the parents themselves.
Your child can learn a lot from you that no school can teach. You can take your child along to host guests, converse, and interact with the social classes you socialize with. You can share with your child and give them firsthand experience of the business world, political arena, and society. Children also learn a lot through observing their parents’ actions and lifestyle. No boarding school in the world can give a child those experiences.
Second, if you want to invest in your child’s extracurriculars and sports in a structured way, doing so in Vietnam is much more advantageous. The cost of participating in sports and extracurricular activities abroad, especially in the US, Australia, and Canada, is extremely expensive; taking these extra classes is also extremely inconvenient in terms of logistics/time management, especially for boarding students. No matter how expensive a boarding school is, it cannot teach your child a sport in-depth to excel or engage deeply in an extracurricular activity (unless you send your child to a specialized boarding school). If you want your child to learn music, martial arts, or sports, and you have the financial means and can find good teachers, nothing beats investing in your child in Vietnam during the initial period.
Another important reason to keep your child in high school in Vietnam is if you want to prepare them for top universities in the US, being in Vietnam is much more advantageous. Grades 10–12 are years when your child will be extremely busy: having to perform fairly well or excellently in academics, train in sports, participate in extracurriculars, study for standardized tests like the SAT and TOEFL, and prepare essay drafts and application files. The kids will be extremely busy. If you are by your child’s side during those moments, they will receive a lot of support instead of having to struggle alone overseas.
I have noticed that most of those who go abroad to study early, except for the extremely outstanding ones, end up entering quite ordinary universities. Meanwhile, many students studying in Vietnam (especially in specialized schools) manage to get into very prestigious universities with significant scholarships. One of the main reasons is that students at home have more time to prepare.
If in Vietnam, students can pursue their academics (if studying at private and international schools, the workload will be lighter), they also have time to take scholarship test preparation courses for the SAT and TOEFL (such as the IvyPrep program in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City) and participate in extracurricular activities far richer than those abroad. In the US, there are also many test prep courses for top universities, and parents also play a very important role in preparing top university applications for their children.
And if you ask me personally whether I should send my child to study abroad early, my answer is no, definitely not before the age of 15–16, because I believe I have many more things to share with my child, such as teaching them critical thinking, writing, life organization, and interacting with the friends and mentors I have the honor of knowing. I will also try to arrange for my child to experience a richer life rather than boxing my child into a single school.
