My good fortune in life has been working with many talented bosses. What matters most in the early stage of one’s career is who you work with. I have several bosses, each of whom contributed to making me grow up a great deal. I have several lessons taught by my bosses that I will remember forever.
First lesson: Perfection in work.
My first boss told me this: “Whatever you do, you must be proud of it. Before you present it to me, ask yourself whether you are truly proud of it, whether you are thrilled with it yet?” He also instructed: “And whenever you have not agonized, lost sleep, or struggled over your product, do not give it to me. Your product might still not fit my exact intent, but you must dare to assert that you have given your whole heart and soul to it.”
In the beginning, I resented him greatly because over a single report, he forced me to revise it dozens of times, from periods and commas to phrasing and word choice, pondering whether writing it that way was accurate to the intent or needed further adjustment. I used to go crazy and argue with him. But he did not care; he just made me do it. By the time the report was finished, I was indeed proud; I spent several days admiring and feeling pleased with that debut product.
From then on, I hated “sloppiness” in the way of working. I always tell my employees this: It is fine if you make mistakes, but you must be extremely serious in what you do. Never be careless. That will form a very good habit for your career, whereas if you are sloppy and easygoing in work, you will never be able to succeed. And I also often ask employees: “Have you lost sleep over this work yet? Have you agonized over it yet? If you haven’t, then you should do it again.”
Second lesson: Is it worth doing that?
Another boss taught me: whenever you intend to do something controversial, illegal, merely competing with others, or consuming too many resources, think about whether doing it is truly worth it? Is it really necessary to be like that?
For example, is it necessary to engage in a test of nerves in an M&A deal just to become the winner? Or might letting go leave your mind lighter and allow you to do other things instead? Or whenever preparing to argue with friends or colleagues to win or lose, we need to think: what is the point of showing off as smarter than others in an argument? Is doing a job that earns a little money but brings all kinds of problems worth the effort to do?
Listening to his advice, countless times I endured and bypassed unnecessary competitions or business ventures. Every time I was about to fight or got hot-headed, I sat back down and thought: “Is it really necessary and worth doing?” If it must be done, then it must be carried out to the very end, but if it can be bypassed, I bypass it altogether.
Lesson 3: Once you are a boss, do not try to outdo or be petty and stingy with employees.
My former boss used to say: “Being an older brother is very hard. It is no laughing matter.” (Quoting the poem: “Being an Older Brother is Hard”) If you want to be called an older brother/sister, to be considered a boss, and to be granted the authority to protect and lead others, then do not constantly get angry, be stingy, or pick at employees over petty things, and be more forgiving toward employees’ mistakes. Do not intimidate brothers/subordinates just because you are the boss. If you do that, then do not be a “boss” or an “older brother” anymore.
Wherever my former boss went, he never let employees serve him. When going out, he drove us himself, and then paid out of his own pocket for employees, many times making me feel embarrassed. He also very rarely paid attention to petty details of conduct that I often did not notice and could easily displease superiors. Therefore, he was very well-liked by the associate team, and I have never seen anyone complain that he was unfair or ungentlemanly.
I learned that: do not force subordinates to run around after you too much, do not be overly critical and exhaust everyone under you over unnecessary things such as praise and flattery. Of course, there is always a boundary between frivolous fussiness and minimal serious respect. When going on business trips, I never force my employees to carry this or that for me. I still tell that group: “In the office, you are my employees, but out on the street, when work hours end, we are equals. Aside from work, you do not have to serve or run around after me for anything at all.”
Lesson 4: Never act like you are the smartest person in the organization
I have attended many meetings where the general director or chairman sat talking endlessly, monopolizing the floor from the beginning to the end of the session. There were leaders who, before finishing listening to an employee’s presentation, already had their faces wrinkled like a pouch and frowned, making the employee present while guessing whether their presentation matched his intent. So the group of employees felt “bored and lost interest in speaking or working, leaving it as whatever the boss wants, I will do that” because their “mood (work inspiration)” was completely ruined. Afterward, those figures would say to me: “Why don’t I have talented employees, my friend?” or “My employees are worthless.” I silently thought to myself: you talk so much, constantly beating your chest about being talented and belittling employees, so no one wants to work with you.
No employee wants to work with a boss where one always feels inferior and unable to contribute anything further. Only a “foolish” boss becomes the smartest person. Employees will always feel inferior and inadequate if no matter what the heck they say, the boss is superior and can counter it.
Lesson 5: Love yourself, delegate authority, and do not do work that others can do.
Back when I was just beginning to manage, my old man always said: “Hey, I see you as a manager, but why are you always working yourself to the bone? What kind of leadership is that, what kind of bossing is that? In that case, go work as a hired hand; why suffer like that?”
I always argued back with my old man: “Because I have so much work.” He said: “Try letting go and see. Is it really to the point of being that busy, or are you scooping everything up yourself? Back when I was a manager, there was never a case where I sat all night until morning at the office if the work was finished. I just went home to you kids; whichever boss wanted to work extra could go ahead, not me.”
Later on, after getting slapped in the face by reality too many times, I realized that if I did not know how to live for myself, work efficiently, delegate authority, and choose important tasks to do instead of taking on everything, I would harm both myself and my employees. Both employees and the boss would always be exhausted and hate each other.
Instead of those times tormenting each other, I go to the gym, play golf, read books, and spare my employees from demands that they could just as well do the next day. I have health, a relaxed mind, and my employees have time for themselves and will be much more efficient.
“Whoever does not love and respect themselves should not think that they can love the company and respect their employees.”
Nguyen Quoc Toan
